Why I am feeling so crappy lately

Moving back to Oregon has been a mistake so far.
So far, I have alienated myself from more than a few people.
I have been kicked out of 2 houses.
&
I have started to see my age as being a negative.

I have a place to sleep now, a place I can't be hated for, for occupying...at least not for another work week. I still haven't found a job because I'm still not looking very hard...


I hate myself most of the time.
I hate that my "friends" say these things about me.
I hate that I feel a certain way about something completely impossible.

No matter who I have feelings for, it always comes back to bite me in the ass. I just got over a girl that basically killed my spirit for a few years, a girl that toyed with me on the rare occasion that she wasn't ignoring me.

And now, I am getting hit by all sides about something I have no control over.

I have lost at least one friend, and this has caused most of my other friends to take this other persons side and not even consider where I am coming from.

I am sick of hypocrites and people that are blinded by others.

I am sick of being so old, and being such a failure.

I wish I could go back and work hard during school so I could have gotten into a good college. College is kind of trivial and pointless but the world needs to see that you had the drive (or the rich parents) to pursue higher education.

I hate the fact that smart people are having to stay behind after High School and leave the opportunities that are given to MUCH MUCH less deserving people behind.

It's unfair, life is unfair...

I really could care less about what you think of me at this point.